dichotomized | IC Inbox

( Catching up to the science officer in the station corridor, McCoy brushes a hand to his shoulder, his touch light, his salutation warm, )

Hey, Spock. How are you settling in?

[ Though Spock hears him coming, the gentle touch still surprises him. It's not something he particularly minds anymore. He's used to Jim's liberal use of touch and the general human tendency towards it, but he is unsure that he will ever be fully used to it. ]

I have not found any difficulties in doing so.

( Where he'd let such a casual touch linger with another human, Bones instinctively lifts his hand away after the initial contact. )

Have you had have a chance to get what you need from the supply drop?

Not yet. I do not require many things to survive.

[ For Spock, comfort is not a top priority. ]

I thought it prudent to allow others with more pressing needs to look first.

( That earns a good-natured eyeroll and a huff. )

Last I checked, Vulcans still need toiletries and clean underwear. C'mon.

( Gonna steer him toward the drop now, choice is an illusion. )

It gets cold here, too, colder than the ship, and our rooms' climate controls aren't always reliable.

[ Spock raises a questioning eyebrow, but otherwise follows. It is only logical that he prepare for the potential cold and keep himself clean, after all. ]

Has the temperature posed a danger to anyone yet?

[ How much preparation should he be focusing on? And perhaps more importantly: should he worry about the safety of others or merely their discomfort? ]

Sure did. According to Jim, the place was a mess when the first orbers got here. Lights weren't even on, ( he confirms. )

For missions where we need to blend in, Viveca will supply us with clothes, much like at home, but we bring in anything else. We'll getcha set up with everything.

Something tells me I will not have access to the same scientific tools I have grown accustomed to on the Enterprise.

[ Though simpler things he can figure out how to make his own version of, anyway. ]

Have you found the medical facilities to be adequate?

Unfortunately. You'll have to ask Viveca for anything specific.

( He shrugs a shoulder. )

It's not the worst infirmary I've had to work with. Worst part's been the minimal personnel. We got one nurse and a paramedic, both from the 21st century, and a self-described surgeon with supernatural matter-displacement abilities. Don't ask, ( he warns, and waves ahead as they enter the transport room with its piles of miscellaneous items. )

I've been training folks in first aid, but we don't often have much time between missions.

[ Spock nods, compiling a list in his head of what might be most important for his purposes and of that what is most realistic to request. ]

If you find yourself requiring additional assistance, it would be logical to call on me. I suspect I will have fewer hours spent in a lab and therefore more hours to fill assisting the current mission in other ways.

[ Not that he has Leonard's understanding of medicine, but he believes he understands enough to step in as an extra set of hands in an emergency. ]

( Bones stoops to pick up a grey sweater from the pile, and shoots him a grin. )

I'd sure appreciate that, Spock. I think this is your size, ( he tosses it aside at him before waiting to see if he's ready, and kneels, beginning to sift through the odds and ends. )

[ Spock bends to take the sweater and holds it up to himself curiously and it appears to be roughly the correct size. If it will be required, Spock is hardly going to be picky about the fit of necessity. ]

Yes, I believe this will do.

[ If he can also find gloves, he'll feel adequately prepared enough. ]

( Stacking aside a few paperbacks, McCoy reads the back of a pink tube of face cleanser and sets that aside as the beginning of a discard pile, adding an empty thermos, a package of neon yellow shoelaces, and several other random bits.

Bones turns and tosses a loofah at Spock's hip, waving a toothbrush at him as he scolds, )

Well? You're gonna need more than that. The only replicator they have here makes weapons, not essentials. Ass-backwards priorities.

[ Somewhere between annoyed and amused, Spock kneels down himself next to another section of goods. He agrees with McCoy of course. Weaponry is not a high priority of a healthy society. ]

This is a most peculiar way to acquire necessities.

( It's late. Too late, in fact, the station dark and quiet, but Leonard's up, and hitting the chime on Spock's door until he answers it, the doctor's face ashen in the weak light. )

Jim's gone.

[ Spock doesn't need to ask any questions, because the context is clear on Leonard's face as soon as he sees it. He'd really expected to have more time with Jim here. With both of them.

He steps back to make room for Leonard to come in. There's no question that he is welcome right now. ]

I will make tea.

( Leonard nods, feeling as if he's watching himself do it, versus experiencing it, and steps in at Spock's unspoken invitation. )

Sure.

( For a moment he just stands there in his pajamas, slightly disheveled and uncertain, before lowering himself to a seat on the bed. )

[ The door closes and Spock busies himself making tea with the kettle he'd found in the last supply drop. He will have to meditate on these revelations--the lack of closure, the inability to say goodbye. He doesn't know when or even if he will see Jim again and as he doesn't want to admit his regret to Leonard, he can't ask Leonard about his own, either. For all Spock knows, Leonard is similarly looking down a path that will lead to a life without Jim in it at all. That cannot be an easy thing for him to face. Even now, the temporary loss must feel terrible.

As the water boils, Spock moves to sit on the bed a few inches away. ]

I am sorry, Leonard.

[ It feels like a lifetime ago that Leonard had been commenting on Spock's break-up unkindly. This is not the same thing and Spock will not be unkind when they are both stinging with this loss. ]

( Everything he wanted to say felt lodged in his throat. That the bed was still warm when he clocked his absence, when he called for him sleepily, confused, then frantic.

The breath he takes is ragged. )

What's there to be sorry about? He's gone back home. He's safer there than he ever was here.

And yet his presence will be missed.

[ By the two of them and likely by others as well. Jim cannot help leaving an impression on the lives he touches. ]

( For a long moment he just breathes, his nod curt, hands fisted in his lap until they start to ache. He's known, conceptually, that they could leave at any time. Pulled home, as he had once before, though not to return.

Knowing is different than experiencing it, than sitting with the sorrow, looking down what little road he has left of his own journey. )

Spock, I...

( Leonard wets his lips. )

[ Spock sees the way his hands are clenched. Even a few months ago, he might not have known how to bridge the gap between them in this moment, but he feels a renewed sense of something in the wake of Jim's pointing out that they're a family. Perhaps that's not something most Vulcans would understand, but Spock is half human as they all seem to enjoy pointing out to him.

He reaches for Leonard's hand, gently loosening his fingers if he will allow. ]

I will miss him, as well.

[ The kettle whistles gently, but Spock ignores it for now. ]

( He's too illogical, too ruled by emotion, too damn human, and all the hurt, the grief, the loss burns up the back of his throat and bleeds into his frame, setting off a fine tremor in his shoulders. Spock's fingers work between his, warm and understanding.

Leonard almost can't stand it, but holds on like he's the last lifeline in the black. )

I thought that- ( a laugh yet not a laugh bubbles in his throat, a bright and miserable seesaw of emotion, )

We'd just have more time.

I know.

[ Spock had still been making sense of his own feelings, still figuring out what Jim is to him and how they fit together and if Spock truly can imagine using the power of this place to give himself a life where he may never have the friendships that he has now with Jim and with Leonard.

Right now, he wants to focus his energy where it will do the most good. His own feelings can wait. Leonard has needs that Spock does not and right now he needs Spock to be present for him. Spock can do that. He can hold himself together for now. He has to. ]

Were your positions switched, I am sure I would be sitting here consoling him in much the same manner.

[ one morning on the station, on each orber's door, the following hand-written note (in fancy calligraphy) will be taped:

the orber can choose to attend or simply listen in to the meeting when it occurs, or they may ignore it altogether. ]

I have gathered some information regarding those monks and the creatures they commune with. I can't say for certain whether it will be a lead toward our ultimate goal...even so, there seems to be some opportunity to investigate more closely without having to disturb the people directly.

Would you wish to accompany me?

Yes. I believe answers may not always lie in the most obvious places in some of these missions.

Let us convene near the city gates then. At dawn? I would prefer to do this when there's more light, just in case there are hazards we haven't heard about...

A sensible plan. I will see you then.

[ yet another flyer ends up on every orber's door, evidently by the same culprit as last time, except now it's a more colorful display:

the back of the flyer features more details about the play and its characters, and soon enough, an announcement from rita herself goes public, giving more context about the event, which all can sign up for. ]

IC Inbox - Ximilia

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